The cool wind cut through my clothing, piercing my delicate skin and the papers in my hand fought to stay within my grasp.  The words that escaped my mouth were immediately swept up, leaving me wondering if I spoke them or if the they were merely thoughts.  My long dark hair kept smacking my face with a vengeance and my footing became weak and unsteady.  I fought this invisible force of wind until finally I reached the decrepit, white door of my cheap apartment.  There, with the door finally opened, the still interior air swallowed me into its impersonal safety.

Pale blue light stirs as the golden sun peaks over the mountain, turning the shimmering snow covered valley into a soft orange hue.  Somewhere in the distance, the first morning bird chirps, it’s echo dancing around the canyon walls behind me. The crisp dawn air smells of soothing pine trees.  Steam from my coffee dances upwards, disappearing into the blue mist.  I settle into my chair a little deeper, completely appreciating the glory of my surrounding.  

My pounding heart mutes any sound in the room and an unfamiliar sickness lurches in the pit of my stomach.  Shaking violently, I close the laptop.  My head swims in the beliefs of who I thought the man I lived with was.  I try, but reality seems too far for me to grasp.  How could he lie to me like this I wonder?  My legs give out and I collapse onto the floor and the tears start pouring. 

A barking dog startles me out of that painful memory of two years ago. I gaze out the window and wonder if he knows how much his lie has affected me.

I stand in a trance in the upstairs bathroom as I try to figure out who it is staring back at me through the mirror.  My bones ache from being ripped out of sleep at 3:30 by my nagging alarm clock.  I stare into half sleepy, half hollow eyes that I will eventually claim as my own.   As I splash warm sudsy water on my face I reflect on the day ahead….work is sending me to Vernal today, then I have school.  Patting dry my now clean face, I sigh.  It is going be a long day; thank God for coffee.